Draco's PotterProof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin
by ThyGreenThing-Phlob-Welly
Summary: Secretly, Draco has been making his own guide on how to be a Slytherin throughout his seven years at Hogwarts. What happens when Scorpius finds it, takes it with him to school during the start of his first year and shows it to his new friend Albus Potter?
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!_

_A/N: I've had another brainwave! I just randomly thought of this idea and I will try to update a step a day if people like this!_

_ENJOY AND PLEASE REVIEW!_

_~ThyGreenThing~_

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><p><strong>Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin<strong>

**Prologue**

Draco Malfoy put a hand into his pocket and turned to his only son, slowly shaking his head at his own forgetfulness. "Scorpius, could you go and get my wand for me? It's in the top drawer of the table next to be bed,"

Scorpius nodded and rolled his eyes. Not wanting to be late for his first train ride on the Hogwarts Express, he ran up the stairs to his parents' bedroom and quickly flung the door open.

There were two drawers on the little table, he thought it would be best to try both of them even though he knew his father kept his wand in the top one. Smiling mischievously, Scorpius opened up the bottom drawer and frowned when he saw a small green book inside. Was it a diary?

He thought of all the dirty little secrets his father might have written down in it as he pulled it out and read to gold writing on the front cover: D. 1991-1998. After putting the book in his cloak pocket and deciding to take it with him to Hogwarts, Scorpius found Draco's wand it went back downstairs.

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><p>Waving to Astoria and Draco as the Hogwarts Express left Kings Cross Station, Scorpius sat down in the empty compartment with the book.<p>

"He-hello? Can I sit in here?"

He looked up and saw an anxious-looking boy with messy black hair and emerald green eyes.

"Yeah, go ahead, I don't mind."

The boy sat down opposite Scorpius and held out his hand, "I'm...I'm Albus Potter, it's nice to meet you,"

Scorpius stared at his hand for a few seconds; this was Harry Potter's son; his dad's old enemies' son. But that was in the past, and this was now in the present.

He shook his hand firmly, "Scorpius Malfoy, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance,"

Albus looked shocked this time but pushed aside any negative thoughts because they both knew that they were not their fathers.

For a few minutes they sat in uncomfortable silence but Scorpius had just the thing to break the ice: the book.

Smirking, he pulled it out of his cloak. "I found this in my father's room, do you want to take a look at it with me, Albus?"

Albus nodded a little uncertainly, moving over next to the blond boy.

They opened the front cover and on the first page, in neat, black handwriting, it read:

'Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin'


	2. Step One

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step One**

_Step One: One must always be pure or half blooded and come from a powerful, wealthy family._

Albus and Scorpius looked at each other, they were both pure blooded. The Potter's were reasonably wealthy but did have as much money as the Malfoys.

"I guess we've both passed Step One, Albus,"

He nodded, "But...I'm not sure if I want to be in Slytherin, that's the problem,"

"That doesn't matter, if we don't get put in Slytherin we can always pretend to be. That could annoy quite a few people!"

They both grinned as they turned the next page...

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><p>Review for Step Two (ooh, it even rhymes)!<p>

~ThyGreenThing~


	3. Step Two

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Two**

_Step Two: One must always receive a goodbye kiss from mother before boarding the Hogwarts Express._

The boys continued looking at the book instead of looking at one another. They felt their cheeks burn bright red at the fresh memories of their mothers saying goodbye.

"Should we go onto the next one?" Albus offered quietly.

"Brilliant idea."

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><p>AN: Thanks for all of your reviews, favourites and alerts! Yes, the chapters are short but there will be lots of them!

~ThyGreenThing~ xxxx


	4. Step Three

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Three**

_Step Three: One must boast about one's specially prepared packed-lunch._

"My favourite house-elf made this excellent packed-lunch for me to eat today," Scorpius grinned, struggling to stifle his laugh, "What about you, Albus?"

"With love, care and dedication my mother made this wonderful sandwich for me this morning!"

They couldn't hold in their laughter any longer, if anybody happened to walk past their compartment they must surely have thought that they were both as mad as hatters.

Silently, Scorpius thanked his father's book for helping him make a new friend.

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><p><em>AN: Thanks again for your alerts/favourites and lovely reviews! If you have any ideas for steps then please PM me or leave them in your reviews but I have got a lot more written down so I won't run out for quite a while._

_~ThyGreenThing~ xxx_


	5. Step Four

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Four**

_Step Four: One must insult the brainless oaf, Hagrid._

"Who's Hagrid?"

"Dunno."

Scorpius and Albus had decided to put the book away for the rest of the train journey and, instead, discussed their lives at home and their shared love for Chocolate Frogs.

Ten Chocolate Frogs later, the Hogwarts Express arrived in Hogsmeade and the students piled off of the train. The first years stared up in fear at the large man stood before them, calling them over to him. He chuckled at their terrified expressions, "Calm down I'm no' gonna eat'cha!"

Albus couldn't help but shake when the man stared at him open-mouthed. 'What've I done?' he thought to himself worriedly.

"You there, what's yah name?"

"Um, I'm...I'm Albus Potter, s...sir,"

The large man's eyes quickly became glassed over with fresh tears as he said, "It's seems li' only five minutes ago when yah father firs' stepped o' tha' train. Oh, they grow up so fas'!"

Albus smiled sheepishly back at the man before he turned to face the rest of the first years.

"I, am Rubeus Hagrid, the groundskeeper 'ere at 'ogwarts!" he bellowed al lot louder than he needed too.

The boys' exchanged a swift glance. This was another step that they would have to pretend to complete.

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><p>AN: As much as I love favourites and alerts, do you think you can please leave a review for me too? I haven't had time to reply to most of my reviews but I have read them all! The chapters will all be purposely short but this one is a little longer. There will be lots of them though!

Anybody have any steps for me to use?

~ThyGreenThing~


	6. Step Five

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Five**

_Step Five: One must insist the Sorting Hat places one in Slytherin._

Once the first years had rowed across the lake, accompanied by Hagrid, they reached the castle. Rose Weasley and Jeffrey Busby had shared a boat with Albus and Scorpius. The four of them had gotten on well, especially Scor and Rose. They showed them the book and took a quick look at the next step.

The castle was a lot bigger than they had imagined it to be, even Rose had to admit the books she had read about Hogwarts had never described it as being this magnificent. The group of eleven-year olds stopped when they came to two large doors.

From somewhere, somebody cleared their throat. The confused children looked around but couldn't find who had tried to get their attention.

"Over here you lot!"

Eventually they spotted a very short man with wispy, greying hair. "I, am Professor Flitwick; deputy headmaster, head of Ravenclaw house and also head of charms!" he said brightly, "Through these doors is the Great Hall where you will be sorted. Now, follow me everyone!"

The doors swung open revealing a large hall. Inside were four tables for each house and another table at the front where the staff were seated. Albus noticed his brother James was sat at the Gryffindor table and gave him a nervous smile. There was also a stool at the front, with the Sorting Hat on it.

Once the hat had finished singing about the four houses: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and last, but not least, Slytherin. Rose started blabbering on about the founders Godric, Rowena, Helga and Salazar but was ignored by the boys.

"Let the sorting commence!"

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><p><em>AN: Ooh, what house will they be sorted into? You'll know already if you've read my story As Pretty As a Rose *hint hint*_

_Thank you for your steps, they will be used at some point. Probably after the sorting._

_Here's some things to leave in your reviews:_

_-What house you're in_

_-What house you think Albus, Scorpius and Rose will be sorted in_

_-STEPS_

_Can we have a few more reviews today? After all, it is JKR and Harry's birthdays today! _

_(I'm definitely a Slytherin with a bit of Ravenclaw mixed in!)_

_~ThyGreenThing~ xxxx_


	7. Step Six

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Six**

_Step Six: One must instantly be sorted into Slytherin as soon as the Sorting Hat touches one's head._

"Potter, Albus!"

The entire whole watched closely as Harry Potter's youngest son anxiously walked over to the stool and sat down. Professor Flitwick placed the Sorting Hat on his head and everyone went silent.

"Hmmm, like your father, I can tell you'll be a difficult one. Not a Hufflepuff, no...or a Ravenclaw. What about Gryffindor..ah, no, no."

Albus gripped onto the edge of the school, feeling very uncomfortable with the whole school staring at him.

"I've got it..." the Sorting Hat shouted, "SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table erupted into cheers and claps. Everyone else looked shocked, they were expecting him to be placed in Gryffindor like his the rest of his family.

James looked horrified and sent a weak glare at his little brother who has suddenly gone very pale. Scorpius saw James do this and gave Albus an encouraging grin.

After a while, the hall went quiet again as Scorpius sat on the stool and had the hat placed on his head.

"Another Malfoy?" the hat murmured, "...Very interesting. You're not like the rest of your family; not a Slytherin,"

It was Scorpius' turn to look worried.

"I see, I see..."

Albus had his fingers crossed, praying to Merlin that he wouldn't be separated from his new friend already.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

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><p><em>AN: I knew from the start that I'd put Albus is Slytherin but kept changing my mind about Scor. But, finally, I've come to a decision! Thank you again for your alerts, favourites and reviews. I'm going to make a banner for this story at some point so I'll put the link on my profile._

_You'll get to see what house Rose is sorted into next chapter! And, there was no paticular reason for me asking what house you think you're in...I was simply being my nosey-self._

_Love and Hugs,_

_ThyGreenThing xxxxx_


	8. Step Seven

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Seven**

_Step Seven: One must smooth down one's hair after that filthy hat is removed from one's head._

Albus looked up at his friend, they shared the same shocked expression. Professor Flitwick removed the sorting hat from the young boy's head. Remembering the seventh step from his father's old book, Scorpius smoothed down his hair and hastily walked over to his fellow Gryffindors. They hadn't clapped yet but one person, a girl with dark hair, stood up and started clapping loudly. One by one, the rest of the table joined in until only James Potter was glaring at the smiling Malfoy.

"Phoebe Hayles, sixth year Gryffindor Prefect!" the dark haired girl grinned at him as he sat down next to her and another girl with wild blond hair. He held out one hand to each of the girls, "I think you've heard already that I'm Socrpius Malfoy,"

"I'm also a sixth year Prefect, my name's Elizabeth Ellis,"

"Pleasure," he replied, using his Malfoy charm.

He was very surprised to find himself in Gryffindor and was joined by Rose Weasley. Though, when he really thought about it, he was more brave and chivalrous than ambitious and cunning.

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><p><em>AN: Step Eight's quite funny, I'm looking forward to it..._

_Anyway, thanks for reviewing, favouriting and alerting again! I really appreciate it. At some point your steps will be used, but probably after the Sorting Ceremony's over._

_Love and hugs,_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	9. Step Eight

_A/N: SORRY! Really short one but I will post at least two steps tomorrow...promise! PLEASE REVIEW._

_~ThyGreenThing~_

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><p><strong>Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin<strong>

**Step Eight**

_Step Eight: One must strut over to the Slytherin table with 'swagger'._

Scorpius, caught up in his brief moment of 'fame', realised that he had forgotten one of the more appealing steps and let out a frustrated sigh. He vowed that he would, instead, use it as he exited the Great Hall for the first time.


	10. Step Nine

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Nine**

_Step Nine: One must smirk superiorly at one's peers as they wait to be sorted._

There were only a few young witches and wizards left to be sorted and Scorpius was beginning to get bored. All of the people he had actually met had already been sorted, why should it matter to him what houses these strangers were sorted into?

Trying to think of something to do, he remembered the book again and pulled it out of his cloak. From under the Gryffindor table, he read step nine before hiding it in his pocket.

Using the small Slytherin part of himself, he put on a proud smirk; focusing it at the four remaining eleven year olds. Three of them looked terrified and started shifting their weight from one foot to another but one, just one, gave him a steely glare.

And he glared straight back at her until she rolled her eyes and he swore he heard her mutter 'Gryffindork' under her breath.

She had just insulted not just him, but his new house. For the first, and definitely not last, time he felt a surge of pride for his house and he knew that the Sorting Hat had rightly placed him in the brave house of Godric Gryffindor.

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><p><em>AN: Here we go, another one on the same day. How about showing your love and appreciation by reviewing._

_Pretty please with a Draco on top?_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	11. Step Ten

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Ten**

_Step Ten: One must boo loudly whenever one's peer is sorted into Gryffindor._

Scorpius and the girl continued giving each other dirty looks until Professor Flitwick called her name, "Zabini, Syrita,"

The Sorting Hat had barely even brushed against the top of her head before it bellowed out, "SLYTHERIN!"

He booed loudly and Elizabeth clamped a hand over his mouth before hissing, "Do you want us to lose house points before term actually begins?"

"Sorry.." he mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah,"

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><p><em>AN: PLEASE REVIEW!_

_I've made a banner-type thingy for this fic and it's my avatar on here so you can all see it!_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	12. Step Eleven

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Eleven**

_Step Eleven: One must boo exceptionally loudly when Harry Potter joins the Gryffindorks._

Scorpius frowned at the next step, it was impossible to complete. Harry Potter obviously was no longer a first year.

"Hey, Malfoy, what's that you got there?" Elizabeth asked.

"Oh, uh, it's nothing," he smiled, snapping the book shut and stuffing it back inside his cloak once again.

"I hope it's not anything dirty..."

"I-"

"...Or I might have to sneak a peak at it."


	13. Step Twelve

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twelve**

_Step Twelve: One must look extremely unimpressed when Dumbledore starts spouting nonsense during his start of term speech._

Elizabeth winked at him and swiftly took the book from his cloak just as McGonagall stepped up to her podium and began to speak.

"Hmmm, looks like a load of rubbish if you ask me," she growled, obviously not liking the anti-Gryffindor steps.

Scorpius took the book back and rolled his eyes, reading the next step and immediately putting on an a bored expression even if this wasn't Dumbledore, he wasn't too bothered with what his headmistress had to say.

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><p><em>AN: Sorry about the double-posting on the previous two steps, I thought I'd done them wrong so I deleted them then re-posted them when I realised they were fine and just now I realised I'de done something wrong with Step Eleven so I just re-posted that one again. Hopefully, everything's sorted now and I won't get confused again._

_Thank you SO much for all of those reviews I got for the latest step, I'm really happy that this fic's now been reviewed 40 times._

_Can we bring it up to at least 45 before Step Thirteen?_

_Lots and lots of love and hugs,_

_~ThyGreenThing~ _


	14. Step Thirteen

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirteen**

_Step Thirteen: One must tell everyone how the house elves at one's private manor cook better meals than the house elves at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

Later, everybody in the hall began eating the piles of food that filled the tables. Albus and Scorpius grinned at each other from their separate tables, the elves really knew how to cook. But Scorpius had recalled yet another step from his father's old book and turned to Phoebe, putting on a snobbish voice, "At my private manor house, the food is much better than this. Our house elves are just marvellous when it comes to cookery,"

Phoebe tilted her head to one side, "Are you okay, Malfoy?"

He clutched his cheek after Elizabeth had slapped and told him 'that he was such a Malfoy'.

"I was joking, the food here's much better," he whined, "And what do you mean I'm 'such a Malfoy'?"

The blond rolled her eyes, "Acting all high and mighty, looking down on things...blah..blah..and all that."

He narrowed his grey eyes and growled, "If I'm such a Malfoy then could you please explain to me why I'm in Gryffindor not Slytherin?"

That shut her up.

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><p><em>AN: 'Kay the whole 45 reviews things failed but I'm pretty happy with 44 so thank you to those of you who did review. _

_Please please please please please review. Go on, look at the pretty button. It wants you to press it, do what the button says..._

_~ThyGreenThing~ xxxx_


	15. Step Fourteen

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Fourteen**

_Step Fourteen: One must always respect and look up to Professor Severus Snape._

A few days later, the boys were outside under the glaring sunlight during their lunch break with the book. "Who's Severus Snape?" Scorpius asked his friend, frowning lightly.

The dark-haired boy gasped, staring down at the name neatly written down many years ago by Draco.

"What is it, Al?"

"Severus is my middle name, I think he's the man my father named me after," he explained, his emerald eyes as wide as galleons.

"Really?"

He nodded slightly, biting his lip, "We could send my dad a letter and ask him why I was named after Severus Snape?"

"Good idea."

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><p><em>To Dad,<em>

_I was just wondering why I was named after a man named Severus Snape. Could you please tell me why he was such an important person?_

_I have already made a few friends at Hogwarts and have been sorted into Slytherin. Didn't you say Severus was in Slytherin too?_

_Anway, how are you, Lily and Mum doing? I miss you all and please tell them that I am doing well._

_Love from Albus_

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><p><em>Dear Albus<em>

_I am very glad to hear that you are getting on well at school and congratulations on being sorted into Slytherin which was also the house of Severus Snape. All you need to know about him, like I said to you a few days ago, is that he was an amazingly brave man who has looked out for me until the second he passed away. And I just wish that I could repay him but I know that now I can't._

_Everything is fine at home, Mum and Lily say 'hello'. We all miss you too and can you please remind James to write to us because he's usually worrying about other things (such as girls and Quidditch)._

_Lots of love,_

_Dad x_

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><p><em>AN: Wow. Thank you so so so much for all of your reviews, I read all of them!_

_Please review!_

_~ThyGreenThing~ xxxxxxx_


	16. Step Fifteen

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Fifteen**

_Step Fifteen: One must always grease one's hair back._

Albus stared at his friend in disbelief. "Scor, erm, what are you doing?"

"What's it look like?" he laughed, lathering more grease into his thick hair.

"It looks like you've gone mad, in all honesty."

Raising a brow, Scorpius looked up at his friend and then to the small green book on the floor. "Step Fifteen, come on!"

"No way!"

"COME ON!"

Letting out a sigh of defeat, Albus Potter began coating his messy hair into the thick substance. "This is a bad idea, Scor,"

"The book said to do it, so we're doing it,"

"You're not even a Slytherin," Al protested.

"So, us Gryffindors like taking taking the piss sometimes, lighten up!"

When Scorpius had finished combing back his hair he helped Albus to do his and then they both looked into the lake water and assessed their reflections.

"We look like douchebags." the real Slytherin commented.

"Maybe you were right, Al…"

"Right about what?"

"Right about this being a bad idea."


	17. Step Sixteen

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Sixteen**

_Step Sixteen: One must find easily-manipulated bodyguards with non-existent brains._

"I know…but it would just be wrong to do that to them,"

"Yes, Lorcan and Lysander Scamander…they'll do." Albus smirked, surprisingly the one who was more approving of this step.

"But…but they're weirdos, loons, fr-"

"-Let's go and find them," he chuckled, "Come on!"

Albus lead Scorpius through the castle and they decided to check in the library for the Scamander Twins seeing as they were both bookworms and in Ravenclaw.

"Hello, Scorpius." Lysander sighed.

"Hello, Albus." Lorcan called out at the same time as his brother.

"…Hi…"

The friends hurried over to the twins when they noticed Pince was glaring at them. "How did you see us, you didn't even look up from your books!" Scorpius whispered across the table.

"We saw you-"

"-Out of the corner of our left eyes."

"Well, your brains aren't non-existent then," Albus commented.

"That's nice to know," Lorcan replied, still not even looking up at them.

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><p><em>AN: I'm really sorry that I didn't update yesterday...I stayed with my cousins for two nights instead of one so I couldn't get out another step to you all! But thank you so much for all of your Draco-tastic reviews!_

_Read and review, you know you want to..._

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	18. Step Seventeen

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Seventeen**

_Step Seventeen: One must excel in Potions to please ones Head of House._

Clearly annoyed with himself, Albus hit his head against the wall and slammed his quill down on the table. A couple of the other Slytherin in the common room sent concerned looks in the first years' direction as the others simply rolled their eyes at him. Both Albus and Scorpius had sworn on Draco's book that they would get Outstandings in their end of year Potions test and though they had many months to go before they would have to take them they had decided to start working straight away.

Syrita Zabini peered over at him. "What're you doing?"

"Potions." Was his brief answer as he continued scanning through the book.

"That book says 'Advanced Potion Making', isn't it a little hard for someone like you? We're first years and that's for N.E.W.T. Level students,"

Albus put the book down and frowned up at the girl. "Huh?"

"All I'm saying is maybe you could start with something a little more simple, like the books we're meant to be reading. It's not that hard to figure out but I guess you caught the stupid from your Gryffindork friend," she laughed, throwing her head back and showing off her pearly-whites.

"Scorpius is far from stupid,"

"Not that far."

"I don't like you, Zabini."

"Does it look like I care, Potter? Maybe you should move houses and joins the Dorks after all, your parents must be stupid too if they were in the same house as Malfoy." Syrita smirked, sensing Albus's growing irritation.

"My father defeated the darkest wizard of all time and if he hadn't, none of us would even alive!" the Chosen One's son shouted, "How dare you say he, or my mother, are stupid?"

"How dare I? Quite easily actually, Potter..."

Albus stormed off in case he did something stupid while he was feeling so angry and made sure to bring his Potions book with him. He'd get her back soon: very soon.

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><p><em>AN: AHH! We're on 85 reviews already! I've never had that many so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU!_

_And this fic also has over 7,000 hits now and, so far, 99 people have read step sixteen and I'm not expecting 99 reviews this step but I REALLY want to get to **at ****least ****100** by the next step. That would make my life complete._

**_REVIEW! YOU CAN BE DRACO-TASTIC TOO, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, IS REVIEW! _**

_~ThyGreenThing~ xxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	19. Step Eighteen

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Eighteen**

_Step Eighteen: One must demand that Professor Dumbledore redecorates the castle's Entrance Hall so that it is green and silver._

"Professor McGonagall..." Albus smiled politely.

"What is it, Potter?"

"Could we decorate the Entrance Hall with Slytherin colours?"

From behind his friend, Scorpius shook his head and sighed, "No. It should be decorated with red and gold...shut up, Al."

"That's not what the book says," he whispered.

"So, I didn't boo when anyone joined the Gryffindors,"

"I did."

"Boys!" McGonagall snapped, "The Entrance Hall will not be redecorated, stop this nonsense and go back to your common rooms..."

They didn't move and continued glaring at one another.

"...IMMEDIATLY."

Albus and Scorpius flinched a little at her piercing voice and did as she ordered.

"Have fun with your snakes, Potter,"

"And you enjoy yourself too, Malfoy, you Gryffin slime!"

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><p><em>AN: Oooh, looks like Scorp and Al have had a little arguement xD What will happen in the next step? Press that little button that says 'Review' and find out. Sorry, I didn't update yesterday 'cause I was a little busy...*cough* **lazy** *cough*_

_YAY! THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED, YOU **ARE** DRACO-TASTIC!_

_Forever in your debt,_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	20. Step Nineteen

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Nineteen**

_Step Nineteen: One must stop demanding that Professor Dumbledore redecorates the castle's Entrance Hall so that it is green and silver because Professor Snape finds it exceedingly irritating._

From their two separate tables, Albus and Scorpius glared at each other as they solemnly ate their breakfasts and didn't speak a word to any of their house-mates. "Finally ditched The Idiot then, Potty?" Zabini smirked.

"Shut it, Bini."

"Seriously, Bini?" she laughed, "Is that the best you can do?"

"SHUT UP!" he shouted, loud enough to catch the attention of all of the witches and wizards in the Great Hall.

She carried on laughing, Albus pulled out his wand.

Scorpius stood up, sensing something bad was going to happen. He had started doubting the book, what good was it doing? Splitting up friends? Creating chaos? At least he'd actually found a step that didn't do any harm: Step Nineteen. But he couldn't quite bring himself to get rid of it; or give it back to his father.

The young Gryffindor ran over to the Slytherin table, or as he liked to call it, 'The Snake Pit.' He pointed at Zabini, "You, just shut your bloody mouth!"

He switched his gaze to meet Albus's vivid green eyes, "And you can shut your stupid Slytherin gob aswell!"

Albus stood up too, but had to look up at the blond for he was a good foot shorter than him. "What about you, Malfoy? You can shut up too! It's your fault we're even arguing in the first pla-"

"-MY OFFICE. NOW." Slughorn and McGonagall screamed in unison at the three of them, earning them a steely glare from the girl and almost identical scowls from the boys.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the reviews, favourites and alerts. Okay, I have a deal for you...you review my fic, I'll review at least one of yours (if you have one). It's a good offer! And if anyone needs a Beta for any of their fics, feel free to PM me! I'm also Beta-ing a fic over in the Warriors section at the moment...it's weird not reading about Harry..._

_PLEASE REVIEW FOR A REVIEW OR TWO!_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	21. Step Twenty

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty**

_Step Twenty: One must always refer to Muggleborns as 'Mudbloods' (especially if one's surname is Granger)._

The Slytherin had devised a plan, to steal the book from the Gryffindor and use it to taunt him; for displeasing his father. He was more worthy of being in possession of it, after all. What would Draco Malfoy say when he found out a Gryffindor had his handy guide? He would surely be less than amused.

Albus was appalled, he would have to sit in detention with him _and _Zabini. 'I'm sure this is going to be fun' he thought dryly to himself, he wanted to curse Slughorn and McGonagall for giving him this deadly punishment that no eleven year old should have to endure.

He gripped his broom tightly, soaring through the air, his dark hair becoming even more tangled as it was ruffled by the wind. "Slow down, Potter!" Madam Hooch barked from where she was stood on the grass. Reluctantly, he obeyed her, not wanting to lose Slytherin even more housepoints.

* * *

><p>Disgusted, Scorpius read another step of the book. He didn't want to, but – at the same time – he did. He knew doing it was wrong but wanting to do it none-the-less. He was hurt by his father words. He was the man who he had always looked up to; wanted to be like, but now he wasn't so sure.<p>

This was just horrible. He had never used the word 'Mudblood' and hoped that he never would in the future. He wasn't prejudice against Muggleborns. Though it looked like Draco was, (or maybe still is) especially that Hermione Granger. Scorpius had heard about her, she was friends with Harry Potter and had helped him defeat Voldemort. "She's a better witch than you are a wizard." he snarled, pocketing the book.

He paused, there was no way on Earth he was going to carry around this kind of filth with him. Angrily, the blond flung the guide onto his bed and stormed off to dinner. He wasn't looking forward to what was going to happen after dinner: his detention with Albus and the other slimy snake.

* * *

><p>"James..."<p>

"What?" the eldest Potter brother snapped at the youngest. He had forgiven him for being sorted into Slytherin House but he trying to talk to his friends and didn't particularly like being interrupted.

"I need to get into the Gryffindor common room,"

"Huh? What, no! Why?"

"To steal something from, Malfoy,"

James smiled, "In that case, let us go my dear brother. I'll see you later guys."

Together, they left the Great Hall, unnoticed by Scorpius Malfoy.

"Felix felicis."

"That's the password?"

"Shut up, yes!"

The portrait swung open and Albus scanned the room, finding it a lot lighter than his own common room. James lead his little brother to the First Year Dormitory and slowly pushed open the door, "It's empty,"

He ran inside, not knowing which bed was Scorpius' so searching them all. Then he saw it: it book. Now, it was his.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Albus, you doofus! I just want to scream at him; making me let him do that... At least Scorpius is using his brain..._

_Anyway, a slightly longer chapter. They're meant to be quite short but I couldn't stop, but I can't really see any reason for complaints on that 'issue.'_

_Thanks for the LOVELY, DRACO-TASTIC reviews :) I love you all._

_Review again, revieeeeew, you know you want tooooooo!_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	22. Step TwentyOne

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-One**

_Step Twenty-One: One must constantly look like one is sniffing a dungbomb._

Ruefully, Albus flicked through the guide, guilt overwhelming his body. How could he have even done that? It was just wrong. But he couldn't just put it back, James would never help him do Scorpius a favour. What harm could a little book written years and years ago do anyway?

He let out a small snort when he saw Step Twenty-One, he could just picture Zabini; marching around the castle with her nose high in the air. His emerald-green eyes skimmed across the previous step, he scrunched up his nose in disgust. He would never call anyone a Mudblood, his Aunt Hermione was a Muggleborn and he would never disrespect her in any way. "Stupid Draco Malfoy." he scowled, closing it again and putting it under his pillow. He'd read some more tomorrow but he decided to send his father a letter first before going to sleep.

He jumped out of bed and grabbed his wand, "Lumos."

The rest of the boys in his dorm were asleep, so he tiptoed over to his trunk and found a piece of parchment and a quill resting on top of it:

_To Dad, _

_I've found something, well actually, my friend Scorpius Malfoy found it. It's called Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin. But I've done something bad, I got James to let me into the Gryffindor common room and I stole it from him. Now I feel really guilty. I can't sneak back in there to put it back. What should I do?_

_Love from Albus_

_Dear Albus,_

_Are you sure that is what it's called? I don't think that you should be reading anything that the young Draco Malfoy wrote, he wasn't exactly the nicest of people; especially towards Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione and I. Albus, why did you feel the need to steal from your friend in the first place? We both know that I don't even have to tell you how wrong stealing is. Do not even think about sneaking it back in there. You have to apologise and give it straight back to Scorpius. I'm sure he'll understand if he's really your friend._

_Lots of love,_

_Dad x_

Albus realised his mistake. How could he have even done that? He'd put that Scorpius was his friend. And now his father had replied saying that he would understand if he was really his friend. Basically, Harry had been no help to Albus.

Well, he'd just have to continue keeping the book to himself then.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Yay, completely Albus-centred step._

_If anyone wants anything to do, check out my Random Drabble Challenge: Day One Please review it and/or do your own drabble using the same characters, prompt and timelimit!_

_In case anyone is interested, Phlob and I have just written a Drarry one-shot called In Which Draco and Harry Secretly Want To Make Out (inspired by the song by The Whomping Willows) and we shall be uploading it soon!_

_Review, or I'll send Filch after you... Because he's scared of my green-ness._

_~ThyGreenThing~ Mwahahahaha! _


	23. Step TwentyTwo

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-Two**

_Step Twenty-Two: One must arrange a midnight wizard's duel in order to get one's enemies expelled._

He raked his fingers through his white-blond hair, he still hadn't found his father's guide, and he was ninety-nine percent sure that he had left it on his bed. It was gone, somebody had taken it. Three days, three whole days he had been searching for that stupid thing! He could only assume that it had been stolen...but by who, who would do such a thing?

At first he had suspected Albus but he wouldn't be able to get in if he was a Slytherin and would he really have the guts to do that anyway? He strongly doubted it. Sighing, Scorpius left the common room for his first lesson of the day: Defence Against the Dark Arts but as he headed down the staircase, he felt someone tap his shoulder. Rose Weasley smiled at him meekly, "I was told to give this to you,"

The red-head handed him a small note, curiously, he read it after muttering a quick 'thanks':

_Meet me in the Room of Requirement at midnight, tonight for a duel. Or are you just the coward everybody thinks you are?_

_A.S.P._

"Albus. Severus. Potter." he growled, scrunching up the note a throwing it on the floor.

…...

Scorpius had, had to ask an older Gryffindor where and what the Room of Requirement was. Luckily, his house-mate had been helpful and didn't even ask why he wanted to know. He was surprised at to why Albus knew about it. Well, he did have a trouble-making older brother after all.

When he had found to large doors, he hesitantly pushed them open, praying to Merlin that this was the right place and that Filch wouldn't be there to get him into any trouble. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw only Albus was there. Wait, why was he relieved? They were about to duel for Merlin's sake!

"Hello." he nodded coldly, not noticing what Albus was holding.

"Hi..." he cleared his throat, feeling very awkward. He didn't really want to duel. Albus had only brought Scorpius here to give back the book, for the guilt of taking it had been eating away at him all week.

"Scorpius...I, uh, I have something for you."

His grey eyes widened in surprise, "It was you? You stole the book?"

"N-now, 'stole' is a strong word-"

"-I know, that's why I used it!" Scorpius snapped at him. He had been wrong to dismiss his suspicions.

Albus flinched at his tone of voice, hoping he wasn't going to have another shouting match today, he'd already had one earlier was Zabini.

Anxiously, held the book out in front of Scorpius.

"I don't want it, keep it." he said coldly, "It's already caused us enough trouble, don't you think?"

"Hmmmm. Listen, I'm sorry that I took it in the first place, I wasn't thinking, it w-"

"-It's fine, Albus. Just...just forget it." Scorpius interrupted him, not knowing why he was being so understanding. 'You just want your friend back, it's understandable.' a voice in his head commented. He went cross-eyed, attempting to glare at himself.

Albus frowned in concern, Scorpius had gone cross-eyed, quite spontaneously. "Are you okay?"

The blond soon realised what he was doing and regained his composure. "Oh, don't worry..sorry.."

Scorpius felt his lips twitching upwards into a smile, he didn't want to but he couldn't help it, he had made a complete fool of himself yet again. "So, are you gonna duel or not?"

"Do we have to? I mean...I'm tired..."

"Maybe you shouldn't have arranged for a _midnight _duel then!"

"Seriously, can we just...forget it?"

"You invited me here for a midnight duel only to say you're too tired to participate?"

"Yes?" he replied, though it came out sounding more like a question.

"Well, I'm tired too. We'd better get back to our common rooms."

"Yeah, how about we meet up tomorrow?" Albus offered.

"If you don't bring that book, yes."

"Why can't I bring it? It's fine if you don't take it too seriously.

Scorpius rolled his eyes, "Fine. Don't expect me to do anything too Slytherin, I don't want any trouble..."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry, this one turned out a bit longer again! Thanks, once again, for all of the reviews, favourites and alerts. I'm so happy that this fic has over 11,000 hits...it's just mind-blowing!_

_PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! ...I know there are more than 5 people reading this fic, so go on. I promise I'll reply and review one of your fics if I haven't already!_

_Thank you to my regular reviewers, you guys make my day with your words of encouragement. :)_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	24. Step TwentyThree

(Just in case you weren't sure or didn't know...)

Passing Grades:

O- Outstanding

E- Exceeds Expectations

A- Acceptable

Failing Grades:

P- Poor

D- Dreadful

T- Troll

* * *

><p><strong>Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin<strong>

**Step Twenty-Three**

_Step Twenty-Three: One must always receive the highest of grades in one's tests._

"I can't do it!" Scorpius wailed, holding the roll of parchment away from his face.

Albus smacked his friend on the shoulder with his own parchment, "Come on, we'll do it together."

"If I fail anything, my father will kill me!"

"Stop being so melodramatic!"

"Stop using big words!"

"That is not a big word!"

"It most definitely-"

"-Haven't you looked at your results yet?" Rose gasped, "We got them last week!"

"We thought we'd wait until the end of the year until we looked at them, after all they aren't called End Of Year Tests for nothing." Albus replied with a careless shrug.

"Look, do you want me to tell you your results for you?" Rose sighed, sitting down in their compartment.

"NO!"

"YES!"

Exasperated, she rolled her eyes and quickly snatched their test results from them. "Don't worry if your results aren't perfect, you've only been at Hogwarts a year."

They couldn't tell if you was being sarcastic or not and decided not to ask.

"Albus, Scorpius, are you ready?"

"...No..." they mumbled, putting their heads in their hands as they prepared to hear their (probably) shameful results.

"Charms: Albus got E and Scorpius got O."

Albus looked up and saw Scorpius, the shape of an 'L' on his forehead.

"Shut it, blondie or I'll chuck you off the train!"

"Hah, as if!"

"Transfiguration: Albus got O and Scorpius got...E."

Now it was his turn to gloat, "Well, what can I say? I am the son of The Chosen One."

"You're still an idiot though..."

"Hey! This is coming from-"

"-Potions: Albus, you got an A, Scorpius got an O and in History of Magic you both got T."

"Oh." came their meek reply.

"Well, overall, I still beat you, Al."

"Oh, give it a rest!"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Yay, it's the end of their first year (I know there's a big time gap since the last step, sorry). The next step will be in their second year!_

_Thanks again for your reviews!_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme, reviews after midnight or any time of the day! (ABBA should totally have that as their new single, I'd buy it.)_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	25. Step TwentyFour

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-Four**

_Step Twenty-Four: One must join one's Quidditch team and win one's game._

"See, this step isn't dangerous at all," Albus reasoned, "it's about joining the Quidditch team!"

"Quidditch can be dangerous though..."

"You're a Gryffindor...you're meant to laugh in the face of danger!"

"Muhahaha." Scorpius chuckled deeply, "I laughed, it changes nothing and I refuse to try out for the team. End of."

"But, Scor-"

"I said no!" he screamed, hitting the back of his head against the tree trunk.

Rose saw them both looking quite annoyed with each other. "What are you two arguing about this time?" she sighed, rolling her hazel eyes at the pair of them.

"Quidditch." Albus mumbled moodily, pouting like a little girl.

"And what about Quidditch, dare I ask?"

"Scor won't try out for the team. I'm trying out, we might have a few games against each other."

"Al, no offence, but you're not exactly the best Quidditch player, are you."

The dark-haired boy stared up at his cousin. "What do you mean, Rose?"

"Albus, I'm going to be blunt with you: you are rubbish and Quidditch-

"Bu-"

"-And don't deny it."

Sending one last upset look in her direction, he marched off inside, probably to sulk by himself. Rose took his place next to Scorpius, putting down her pile of books in between them. "You should try out, you know, Gryffindor need new chasers."

He rolled his eyes at her, "Yeah, yeah, I'll think about it."

"You'd better, Mister!"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Will Scor try out? Will he get a place on the team? Will Albus still try out too? So many questions, just press that pretty little 'Review' button and they shall be answered shortly. _

_Sorry, not much happened this step. They'll be some more excitement soon I'm just not in the mood for it at the moment. :(_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	26. Step TwentyFive

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-Five**

_Step Twenty-Five: One must laugh heartily when the blood traitor's spell backfires._

Rose guiltily looked down at her cousin's unconscious form from where she was sat in a chair next to his bed in the Hospital Wing. Madam Shrivelfig looked down at the wannabe- Quidditch star, "Silly boy... you should know he'll be fine and should wake soon. He took quite a nasty fall though, I suggest he stays away from the Quidditch Pitch from now on."

"It's my fault, I told him he was rubbish at it so, of course, he had to go and try out."

"Don't worry, dear," the healer smiled, "it's not your fault."

Rose sighed as Shrivelfig scurried off to tend to another patient.

"I'm sorry, Al." she whispered.

"She's right, it's not your fault." came a quiet voice from behind her.

"Scorp? Did you make the team?"

He walked over to Albus' bed and sat in Rose's chair next to her.

"You're squishing me!" she hissed, "And you smell like Quidditch."

"I know, sorry, and I'm the new chaser...I just feel bad because I won't be able to play against Al."

"..Con..congrats..."

Albus smiled meekly at them, though the smile didn't quite reach his green eyes.

"Ow!" he moaned as Scorpius and Rose threw their arms around him.

"Al! You're alive!"

"Of course he's alive, Scorp," Rose muttered, "I'll go and get James..."

The red head hurried off in search of her fellow Gryffindor.

Scorpius revealed the book to Albus, "I thought it might cheer you up, I'm just hoping the next step isn't anything horrible or I might just chuck it out the window..."

"...Okay, we can't do that one..."

"Spoil sport."

"Stupid Slytherin."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Al, you stupid boy! _

_Can I just recommend a song: We Are Wizards by MC Kreacher _

_It's amazing, I'm listening to it now :)_

_Anyway, their second year will be quite short but I have lots of Hippogriff-related steps for their third year. Heh heh heh..._

_Please leave a review, if you have any ideas for steps then please tell me them! Thank you so, so much for 170 reviews, I'm gob smacked that so many people are enjoying this so far._

_I have some top secret guides to show you once I've finished Draco's (don't worry, there's LOADS more steps to go):_

_Ron's Fool-Proof Guide To Being a Gryffindor_

_Luna's Nargle-Proof Guide To Being a Ravenclaw_

_Pomona's Slug-Proof Guide To Being a Hufflepuff_

_~ThyGreenThing~ ;)_


	27. Step TwentySix

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-Six**

_Step Twenty-Six: One must check if one's bodyguards are capable of reading._

"I don't get this one..." Albus muttered, scratching the back of his neck.

"Same here...how about we just grab some mince pies and go back to the common room."

"Which one?"

Scorpius grinned, "I think mine would be best..."

"Yeah, well you would say that...okay, but I don't think your Gryffindorks would approve of me invading their territory though."

"Everyone's gone home for Christmas..well, practically everyone so you'll be fine."

A little sceptically, Albus followed the blond to the Gryffindor common room, his arms filled with dozens of mince pies that the house elves had baked. "Give me one, Al"

"Neveeeer!" he shouted, stuffing a whole one into his mouth and running down the corridor, dropping several on his way.

"ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER, YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" Scorpius shouted, scowling at his best friend.

"No way! You want a mince pie? Then come and get one...or are you too scared?"

"Course not, you slimy snake!"

"AHHHHHH!"

Like four year olds, they chased each other around the castle. When an hour had passed, Albus was running out of energy...and mince pies. Scorpius was close to claiming his food now...

"Boys! What do you think you are doing?"

Abruptly, they came to a halt and stared up at McGonagall.

"Bugger."

* * *

><p>AN:Mmm, mince pies...

Thanks for all of your reviews, favourites and alerts, they are almost as lovely and beautiful as you lot! My precious ickle readers!

PLEASE REVIEW!

~ThyGreenThing~


	28. Step TwentySeven

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-Seven**

_Step Twenty-Seven: One must hope that all of the Mudbloods are petrified._

The boys kept re-reading the step, trying to work out what it was about.

"It's something about Muggleborns..." Albus murmured.

"I gathered that already, Al."

"Well, you didn't say!"

"I didn't bloody have to!"

"Merlin, calm down, Scorp."

"...Sorry, okay?" he spat, folding his arms over his chest.

After several minutes of uncomfortable silence, one of them decided to speak up.

"Why don't we go and ask Hagrid what it's about." Albus offered quietly, "I'm sure he knows what it's about."

Scorpius sighed, "Yeah, fine, whatever."

"Don't act so excited then..."

The youngest Malfoy trailed behind his friend as they made their way to Hagrid's hut. He was annoyed at his father for using the 'M' work again and hoping they were petrified. But who or what would petrify them? Albus knocked forcefully on the door to the half-giant's hut.

"Who's the'e?"

"It's Albus and Scorpius!"

The door opened and Hagrid beamed down at them, "C'mon, in wi' th' pair o' yah,"

"Thanks Hagrid!"

They both received clumsy pats on the head as they entered and took a seat at the only table.

"An' wha're yous two doin' 'ere?" Hagrid asked, pouring them both a glass of pumpkin juice.

"We...uh..."

"We came to ask you a question." Scorpius said through gritted teeth, his fury towards Draco rapidly increasing.

"Spi' it ou', spi' it ou'!"

"What petrified the Muggleborns when our fathers were at school?" Al questioned him.

Hagrid took a sip from his mug of butterbeer and almost spat it out again once he had registered what Albus had just asked him.

"Hagrid are you okay?"  
>"O' course I am bu' why'd yah wanna know 'bout wha' tha' basilisk did?"<p>

"BASILISK?"

"Oh, um, no?" Hagrid gabbled, "There wa' no basilisk."

"Where did it come from?"

"What did it do?"

"Did anyone die?"

"OU'!" he bellowed, marching over to the door and pushing them outside, "Tha's a story fo' another day, I'm afrai'. Good bye."

"Well, that answers that question."


	29. To My Little Darling Readers

To my little darling readers,

I am very sorry to say that I will not be able to update again until the middle of next week (probably Wednesday) as I am staying with my grandparents and they are very anti-internet, like most other elderly people...no offence to my lovely Granny and Grandad. So please hang on in there and I'll try to update as soon as I get back. And I'd update now, properly, but I have things that desperately need doing.

Also, I don't think I'll be able to update next weekend and on the 5th September because it's my birthday, but I'll try to. I go back to school 9th September, consequently updates will be slower then and I think you are all clever enough to work out why.

Can I just take this opportunity to whole- heartedly thank everyone who has taken the time to read Draco's PotterProof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin. It means the world to me that so many people are enjoying this fic so thank you all for 20,704 hits, 206 reviews, 41 favourites and 59 alerts...SO FAR. We're not even half way through yet!

I cannot thank you all enough for your support.

~ThyGreenThing~

P.S.

Here's a little spoiler for you all:

_Step Twenty-Eight: One must declare war against hippogriffs. _


	30. Step TwentyEight

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-Eight**

_Step Twenty-Eight: One must declare war against hippogriffs._

Albus snorted loudly, earning himself several concerned looks from his fellow Slytherins. Harry had told him many times of the story in which Draco Malfoy had been attacked by Buckbeak the hippogriff during one of Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures lessons. In fact, if he remembered correctly, the incident had occurred whilst they were in the same year as Albus was currently; his third.

"What is it now, Potty?" Zabini scowled, rolling her eyes from where she was sat eating her dinner, just a few places down the table.

"Oh, just shut your big, fat gob for once in your life will you!"

He marched out, sensing trouble was brewing and not wanting to be caught slap, bang in the middle of it like he usually seemed to be. Scorpius followed him out, wanting to know exactly what Zabini had done this time.

"Al! Al! Wait for me!"

He slowed his pace, gripping Draco's guide tightly in his hand. He already had guessed what his friend wanted to know, so filled him in on what had happened.

In an attempt to calm Al's growing anger, Scorpius tried asking a completely different question, "So, found any interesting steps?"

"'One must declare war against hippogriffs.' Because once a hippogriff attacked your dad. Apparently it was hilarious."

A grin more likely to be seen on an evil genius than a thirteen year old Gryffindor swept over his features. "I have a rather excellent idea..."

Scorpius and Albus marched through the corridors of Hogwarts Castle, both of them holding large signs and holding them up for all of the students to see.

"Send the hippogriffs to Azkaban-" Scorpius chanted.

"-Send them off with Zabini!" Albus continued.

They continued chanting this over and over again. Their signs displayed a hippogriff in a cage and a picture of Zabini roaring like a maniac.

"POTTER! MALFOY!"

"Good evening, Zabini."

"You just wait until my father hears about th-"

"-I think our father's are a lot more powerful than yours is, my dear Syrita." Al interjected with a very Slytherin Smirk.

She stormed off. She seemed to be doing that a lot more often lately.

It most definitely wasn't either Scorpius' or Albus' fault.

* * *

><p><em>AN: YES, I HAVE RETURNED!_

_I don't know if the grammar is correct in that last sentence so please tell me if it isn't and I'll go back and change it. (Which also means I'll have to upload this chap again, so sorry if you've got this on your alerts 'cause you'll get another email!)_

_I need to catch up with loads of fics and stuff now so it might take me a while to R&R one of your fics if I haven't already._

_~ThyGreenThing~_

_P.S. Anyone got any ideas for things to do at a Harry Potter themed birthday party?_


	31. Step TwentyNine

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Twenty-Nine**

_Step Twenty-Nine: One must always refrain oneself from insulting a hippogriff._

Scorpius chuckled loudly, clutching his stomach, "It looks like my dad learnt his lesson!"

"Pfffft, it certainly does, Scor."

"I bet he has a phobia of hippogriffs now..."

"Hippophobia." Albus grinned a little stupidly.

"Then it would be a phobia of hippos, idiot."

"DRACO MALFOY HAS HIPPOPHOBIA!" Albus Potter laughed, though it came out sounding more like a scream, he banged his fist on his thighs, tears forming in his vivid green eyes.

Scorpius face-planted the table. That wasn't exactly the brightest thing to say when sat in the middle of the Hog's Head.

"Let's go now." the blond hissed from across the table, pulling Al out after him by the collar of his coat.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry, I didn't get the chance to update yesterday. I won't be able to tomorrow either...I'm not sure about Sunday. I'm getting up early on Monday just for you, so I can update but then I've got my party, presents and phone calls...y'know, basic birthday stuff._

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little chap and please review. I'm still behind on my fics 'cause I've had stuff to do so I WILL get round to R&Ring one of yours if I haven't already done so._

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	32. Step Thirty

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty**

_Step Thirty: One must always remain calm in any situation._

Scorpius climbed out of bed, silently praying to Merlin that Albus (or his parents, for that matter) wouldn't make another big fuss. To have people fussing over you was not 'cool'. He groggily changed into his Gryffindor robes and crept through the common room as most of the boys in his dormitory carried on sleeping peacefully.

He emerged out of the portrait hole, checking that the coast was clear before quietly making his was down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Smiling a little as he decided all was safe, he pushed open the doors...

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCORPIUS!"

Scorpius groaned when he saw Albus, Lily and most of the Weasleys stood on top of the Gryffindor table, holding the banner that declared it was, in fact, his fourteenth birthday.

Not a second later, he found himself enveloped the middle of a bear hug. "AL! ROSE! GET OFF!"

About thirty minutes later, students were starting to file into the hall. Scorpius scowled, he didn't want them all knowing it was his birthday too. Well, considering the large banner Hugo and Lily were still waving around, he wouldn't be too surprised if they had already guessed. "I'm going now!" he stated loudly, hoping they wouldn't try and follow him back to the Gryffindor common room for another round of celebrations.

He had no such luck.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry, this might not be very well written 'cause it's six thirty in the morning and I've been awake since four AM. I have to prepare for the awesomest HP birthday party known to man..and womankind!_

_Please, please review, they would be the best birthday presents ever! :) Oh, and can you let me know if I haven't R&Red one of your fics or if you just want me too because I've lost track and I need to make a list. Thank you._

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	33. Step ThirtyOne

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty-One**

_Step Thirty-One: One must tell one's father about one's idiotic Care of Magical Creatures instructor._

"That's a bit..harsh." Scorpius commented, once again, he was frowning at the book.

"Well, no offence, but you're dad can be a bit..harsh."

"None taken, I suppose you've got a point there, Al."

"I've always got a point, you should know that by now."

"No you haven't, you're usually talking about something stupid and don't realise that nobody's paying you even the slightest little bit of attention."

"Yeah, and it's not like you ever say something stupid. Ehy, Scorpius?"

"Okay, so maybe I say stupid things sometimes but at least I'm not literally stupid, unlike _some _people!"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!"

They both jumped a mile when Rose, who was sitting in-between the troublesome pair with a battered old book, screamed at them. "YOU ARE BOTH AS DUMB AS EACHOTHER!"

Scorpius and Albus opened their mouths, about to protest when they were interrupted yet again by a certain young red head.

"LET ME READ IN PEACE."

Both boys leant forward, shared an amused look then leant back against the tree trunk again. And in perfect unison they said...

"Smart arse."

* * *

><p><em>AN: What legends. Yes, I'm updating! WOOH! I'll try to tomorrow as well 'cause I'll be starting another year at school on Friday._

_Thanks for the birthday wishes, reviews, favourites and alerts. Gimme some more! (Not birthday wishes though.)_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	34. Step ThirtyTwo

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty-Two**

_Step Thirty-Two: One must tell nobody that one has been attacked by a Mudblood._

Albus was sat in a History of Magic lesson next to his favourite cousin. Now, he had no problem with the lesson it was just the way Professor Binns droned on and on without stopping. He could copy Rose's notes afterwards, she was always listening to her professor intently. 'If only Scorp took this lesson, it would be a lot more interesting' he thought to himself, absent-mindedly levitating his quill with his wand. Binns shot him a warning glare but didn't stop lecturing the class on the history of Gringotts. Usually the ghost wouldn't have noticed Albus not paying attention but, thanks to Rose, he was sat in the front row; right in the centre.

Taking drastic measures, he pulled out Draco's guide and had a quick read...

He pressed his lips together, desperately attempting to stifle a laugh as he put the book away. Rose noticed his face reddening and raised a brow. He'd heard the story before of how his Aunt Hermione had slapped Mr Malfoy during their third year, it never failed to bring a smug smile to his face. But, as he was in the middle of a quiet lesson, it became funnier: he couldn't laugh or he'd run the risk of earning himself a detention.

'Don't laugh, Albus, please don't laugh.'

This wasn't working at all. Suddenly, his mind conjured up a clear image of the incident and he couldn't hold it all in any more. "BAHAHAHAHA!"

Binns and his class turned to stare at him and finally all was silent...apart from Al's almost hysterical laughter.

"What is the meaning of this, Mr Potter?"

"I...I..swallowed some of the feathers on my quill, sir.." he wheezed, grinning widely as he suppressed another chuckle.

"Professor, I'll take him to the Hospital Wing. I'm sure Madam Shrivelfig will have something for him."

Binns nodded, and continued teaching as an annoyed Rose pulled Albus out of the room.

"What was that all about? Hmm?"

"I, uh, I just thought of..." he was cut off by another wave of girlish giggles, "...when, when your..your mum...punched Malfoy!"

He could see a small smirk tugging at her lips that she was trying (and failing) to hide.

"You really are an idiot, Albus Potter."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey, don't shout at me! (You know who you are!) ;) It's nice to know you want me to write more though..._

_Anyway, here's another step because I start school again tomorrow. *dramatic music*_

_In my notebook I've started a Tom Riddle Jr./Firenze romance fic. Any opinions on this slightly odd pairing that I have Christened 'Tomenze'? I'm also looking for a Beta for it, please let me know if you're interested._

_PLEASE REVIEW!_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	35. Step ThirtyThree

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty-Three**

_Step Thirty-Three: One must let Potter know of the man who betrayed his filthy parents._

"Sirius Black." Scorpius muttered quietly.

"I know. I'm not-"

"-Don't say it if you don't want me to argue with you, Al."

"Fine. You pompous blond poof." Albus murmured, feeling annoyed at the book (or Draco, he couldn't decide which) for mentioning Sirius Black and what he supposedly did. He knew it was all lies, he had heard the truth many times from Harry.

Scorp slammed the book shut and chucked it at Albus, not caring that one of it's corners had collided with his friend's forehead. "Ow! What the Hell was that for?"

"For you calling me a 'pompous blond poof'! I am not a poof! And if this was such a touchy subject then why are you reading this book...it's full of...touchyness."

"Poof."

"ALBUS! SHUT UP!"

"Poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof."

"I AM NOT A POOF! I LIKE GIRLS?"

"Who do you like then, Lord Poofington?"

"ROSE WEASLEY."

An awkward silence hung in the air around them, their conversation stopped by a wall of silence.

"Awkward." a passer-by laughed, who just happened to be Zabini.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks for reviewing, reading and all that! Sorry, I've had to re-publish this one because there was a mistake. Oh, and I've found two lovely Betas for my Tomenze, fic so thank you guys._

_PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	36. Step ThirtyFour

Fourth Year

* * *

><p><strong>Draco's Potter Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin<strong>

**Step Thirty-Four**

_Step Thirty-Four: One must support Cedric Diggory during the Triwizard Tournament._

Albus jabbed Scorpius in the side with his sharp elbow good naturedly as Rose entered the room; when he had first found out that his friend fancied his cousin, to say he was disturbed would very much be an understatement but he had decided to be the 'model' friend for once and just tease him instead. "There she is, in all her Weasley glory."

He grabbed the book, burying his pointed features deeply into the pages, he could feel his face burning from where he and Al were sat at the Gryffindor table (it had taken a lot of persuading to get a snake in with the lions) in the hall one September morning. Since Albus had found out about...it...his feelings, he was sure, had only increased and become even more noticeable but what concerned him the most was the fact the Zabini also knew. And as far as he knew, she hadn't said a single thing to anybody. Strange; very strange.

"Who's Cedric Diggory?"

"Oh, Scor, don't change the subject..naw, Rosie just left, probably because she saw your ugly mug!" Al chuckled, ruffling his peer's hair.

"Cedric Diggory took part in the Triwizard Tournament when Harry Potter was at school. Apparently he was killed during the final task and Lord Voldemort was there. Oh, and your dad was too, Potter." a third year boy said quickly, "Diggory was a Hufflepuff, I think. Very sad."

"Oh. Nice." Scorpius muttered, wondering why Rose had left so suddenly.

Maybe he'd have to go and find her...

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry, I took ages to update! Blame school, not me. *wink* Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this step._

_Exclusive offer: review this chapter and I'll write a HP drabble for you because I'm nice, would like to thank you for reviewing and would like to do some more short pieces of writing. I'll write just about anything, excluding Dramione and Snarry though. Just let me know what you want! This offer will still stand even when this fic's finished as long as you reivew THIS chapter._

_~Thy'ExtremelyWonderfulAndGenerous'GreenThing~_


	37. Step ThirtyFive

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty-Five**

_Step Thirty-Five: One must let Potter know that he stinks._

A curious Slytherin watched as two Gryffindors exited the Great Hall; one after the other. What was going on now? Was Scorpius about to profess his love for Rose? He laughed at the thought of it then pretended to clear his throat as the lions stared down their table at him. Zabini caught his eye mischievously, appearing directly opposite him, she obviously was thinking something along the same lines as he had. Albus just hoped that she wasn't going to say anything and crossed his fingers under the table.

"What, not going to chase after the love-birds, Potty?" she sneered, challenging him to a fight.

"No, what love-birds." he replied simply, shaking his head, "Are you seeing things, Zabini? It's okay to admit that you have imaginary friends. I mean, I did...when I was six."

At first, her eyes narrowed from his patronizing tone but then she fished out her wand from her pocket (this was a regular occurrence whenever Albus was around and most Slytherins and Gryffindors alike had grown used to it) and, if looks could kill, was wearing a face that would've sent everyone else to Hell to rot there in mere seconds.

"You'd better start running, Potter!"

"After your imaginary friends?" he taunted, glad to have the upper-hand in their argument for once.

Zabini's reply was most certainly not in English, it sounded similar to a mutated elephant that had been stuck in a microwave for way too long. Albus frowned, _did that even make sense? And what is a_ _microwave...probably something I learned about in Muggle Studies._ But ignored his rather strange trail of thought and jumped to his feet, hopefully he'd be able to catch up with his friends if he ran fast enough.

"Petrificus totalus!"

Albus let out a yelp as he just about dodged the spell and pulled out his own wand as he pushed open Hogwarts' front doors and was greeted by...

Rain.

Nonetheless, he continued to run, firing back a jelly legs jinx before spotting Scorpius and Rose who looked like they were in the middle of an argument, not even half as bad as the fight he was in. "RUN! RUN! RUN!" Albus screamed, waving his hands in the air for extra effect as he rushed past the pair.

"IT'S YOU I WANT, POTTER!"

Albus almost blushed when Zabini shouted at him from behind, noticing the double-meaning behind her words. _Why am I blushing...almost! IDIOT. _He thought to himself, running a hand through his windswept hair.

He now knew one thing: she'd dodged his jinx. Gasping for breath now, Albus delved into the Forbidden Forest with Zabini on his tail, sending hexing, curses and jinxes straight at him. All he could see were trees, no Scor, no Rose, just trees...and an angry girl.

Starting to panic now and slowing down he twisted around and fired a stupefy at her. The Slytherin held his breath, praying the spell would actually make impact with her this time.

"YES!" he cried, collapsing onto the dirty ground in a mixture of relief and exhaustion.

Though, he had nothing to be at all relieved about. He was in the middle of a dangerous forest, with nothing but Zabini's unconscious body to keep him company...

* * *

><p><em>AN: THIS STORY IS STILL ALIVE AND SO AM I! (Obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this.)_

_Firstly, I am SO sorry for taking ages to update it's just that school's been taking over my life again but it's now the half term holidays for me so I should be able to update daily until the start of November. After that, I'll try my best to update at least once a week but I can't make any promises._

_Secondly, if you haven't specifyied what you want your drabble about then please do so. I'll try to get most of them up during the Christmas holidays because I get a two week break from school then. Thanks for reviewing though!_

_And finally, thank you for reading this step. I made it longer than the others, so could I please please have some of your spectacular reviews? I'll try to reply to them soon-ish. _

_REVIEW, REVIEW OR I'LL DIE LIKE ELVIS ON THE LOO! (It even rhymes again.)_

_~Thy''GreenThing~_


	38. Step ThirtySix

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty Six**

_Step Thirty Six: One must make sure a Mudblood does not slime up the Tournament._

Scorpius and Rose stopped and stared as Albus rushed past them, screaming something and waving his hands madly in the air. Then Zabini sprinted past them too, looking murderous. The two Gryffindors gawped as the Slytherins descended into the Forbidden Forest. "They're fighting again." Rose sighed, disappointed in her cousin for acting so immaturely.

"And so are we." Scorpius added quietly.

"I suppose you want to know why we're fighting, that's why you followed me."

"Yes!" the blond cried, desperately after an explanation from his best friend.

"It's that stupid book." she growled, glaring at the object in question.

Scor groaned inwardly. He remembered back to years ago when he and Albus had fought over the book. _Not again! Why is it always this idiotic guide? _

"What about it?"

"You're always so obsessed with it; you and Albus. You act like I don't even exist. Plus, I've seen what kind of stuff is written in there, pass it over." Rose snapped bossily.

Scorpius silently handed over his father's old guide, guessing what she was going to do and hating himself for making her feel neglected. Maybe he'd been ignoring her a little since Albus and Zabini had discovered his true feelings for the daughter of Ron and Hermione Weasley but it was purely out of embarrassment.

"See here, '_Step Thirty Six: One must make sure a Mudblood does not slime up the Tournament.' _Personally, I find that offensive seeing as my mother is Muggleborn but you just shrug it off your shoulders as if it means nothing to you. You do that to me too, Scorpius Malfoy. You're beginning to turn into the exact carbon copy of your dear father and I don't like that. I don't like it at all."

Frustrated with just about everything in her life, Rose slammed the book shut and dropped it on the floor beside her. "It's me or the book, make a decision or lose both."

He didn't even hesitate before saying: "It's you, Rosie. You're the one I want, you always have been."

"H-huh?" she stuttered, her cheeks turning just as red as her hair.

"You heard. Okay? And what do you want?"

"I-I don't know…if you're suggesting what I think you are then I really don't know what to say. You're my friend, Scorpius, I really can't see you as being anything more than that at the moment."

And in that split second, Scorpius Hypherion Malfoy was sure that he felt his own heart breaking.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Oops. I'm so sorry Scorpius, I wanted Rose to not say something as heart wrenchingly painful as that but she just didn't want to. I feel really bad for Scor now._

_Fancy cheering me up with a review? Why, of course you do!_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	39. Step ThirtySeven

**Draco's Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty-Seven**

_Step Thirty-Seven: One must tell Rita Skeeter all about Potter and the half-giant oaf._

Albus bit his lip nervously, suddenly aware of all of the dangers surrounding him. One of these dangers was sometimes known as Syrita Zabini, but for now, she was harmless. When she woke up, it would be a completely different story. He was starting to think that it would have been easier of he hadn't knocked her unconscious, then he would've just had to bear with her ranting because she was bound to lunge at him after she woke up now.

_Leave her behind and run._ A venomous voice in his head hissed. _Escape the danger; let her suffer for all of the pain she has caused you._

Could he really do that? Leave Zabini in the middle of the forest on a rainy autumn evening with ill intentions? Could he really show his Slytherin side? A debating Al leant against a tree, staring off into the distance, trying to decide his enemies' fate. He shifted his emerald gaze, eyeing Zabini warily.

"No." he hissed to himself, seeing as there was nobody else around for him to converse with. _How could I even think that? I was thinking like…like a murderer, almost._

"P-Potter!"

He banged his head against the trunk of the tree. It seemed his spell wasn't quite as strong as he had hoped for it to be. "I'm sorry, okay? For y'know…stupefying you but you looked like you were going to kill me." he said, meeting her glare with his own half-hearted one which only melted into a guilty expression.

"I'm going to tell everyone what you've done to me, Potter! How you provoked me, and lead me into the forest… Stunning me and then attempting to leave me here to die alone."

He gulped. Yes, she had been exaggerating vastly but now it was as if she had read his mind. But the important thing was that he hadn't left her. Even if a tiny part of him wanted to.

"ALBUS POTTER, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Al turned around so he was facing the direction the sudden shout had come from.

Harry Potter was there, looking about twice as murderous as Zabini had done previously…

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry, I didn't update yesterday because the internet died. Stupid internet. Anyway, here's another step, I hope you liked it._

_*Insert dramatic music here*_

_What is Harry doing in the forest?_

_What will happen to Albus and Zabini?_

_And, most importnantly, what is Step Thirty-Eight of Draco's PotterProof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin?_

_So many questions that need an answer, leave a review and I'll update faster!_

_(I'm getting good at this whole rhyming thing.)_

_~ThyGreenThing~_


	40. Step ThirtyEight

**Draco Potter-Proof Guide On How To Be a Slytherin**

**Step Thirty-Eight**

_Step Thirty-Eight: One must curse Potter when his back is turned._

Al closed his eyes and counted to three, hoping that when he opened them again he would wake up in his bed.

_One..._

_Two..._

_Three..._

However, he had no such luck. He still found himself in the presence of Syrita Zabini and Harry Potter, both of whom weren't looking particularly pleased. Albus wasn't pleased either, he didn't want to be here in the middle of the Forbidden Forest and he couldn't even think of a lie to feed his father, not that Harry would even believe his youngest son in the first place.

"Well?" Harry said firmly, "Would you please care to explain yourself?"

"Dad-"

"-Mr Potter, may I just say it is a pleasure to meet you and I for one can explain why your son and I are here." Zabini interrupted, an arrogant, boastful tone to her voice. Albus didn't even bother to tell his house-mate to be quiet and just stared at the ground, not caring what she said because, to be honest, he had nothing to say in his defence.

"Scorpius and Rose went missing a while ago and Albus and I were so worried that we decided to go looking for them," she sighed, blinking back crocodile tears, "it was a stupid and extremely irresponsible thing to do but we're just so worried about our friends, aren't we, Al?"

Albus had to hide all the shock that he was feeling, just so his father wouldn't find out that Zabini had just lied straight to his face, looking so truthful and innocent. It was just so unnatural for her, _Zabini_, had called _him _Al. Though he had to admit, she really was a great liar. "Yeah, we haven't been out here very long, Dad. We were just about to head back before it starts getting dark." Albus continued, looking up at Harry, his face unreadable.

After a moment of thinking through everything the two teenagers had said, Harry shook his head and smiled, "You two make a great pair of liars. I don't know what was really going on here but I trust it wasn't anything too idiotic, Al. Though if James were here, it would be an entirely different story. Come on, I'll make sure that you two really are 'getting back before it gets dark'."

The two Slytherins walked just behind Harry as he lead them back to the castle. "What was that all about?" Al hissed.

"Well, we'd be in more trouble if you'd just stood there looking gormless any longer so I thought I'd intervene."

"I was about to speak but, no, you rather rudely barged in!"

"I was trying to be helpful!"

"I don't need your help, Zabini."

"And I didn't want to help you, I was just helping myself but you managed to get out unscathed too."

"Everything alright back there?" Harry asked with a grin. The quarrelling going on behind him definitely reminded him of a younger Hermione and Ron.

"Yes." they both replied, glaring at each other as they spoke in unison.

Zabini took a couple of strides forwards so she was now walking beside Harry. "If you don't mind me asking, what were you doing out in the forest, sir?"

"Supervising a task for the aurors in training, as long as I get back soon, my disappearance will be unnoticed."

Albus continued trudging along behind Zabini and Harry, not paying any attention to their conversation. It was then when he realised 'd seen them both earlier, but where were Scor and Rose now?

* * *

><p><em>AN: Well, that whole 'regular update' thing went down the drain, didn't it? I'm really sorry about that. Updates will be irregular but hopefully they're better than nothing._

_I will update soon-ish though because it's now the Christmas holidays for me so I have two weeks off school!_

_Also, can you please send me a PM if you want your drabble and let me know what character/pairing you want your drabble to be about because I've lost my list of drabbles and I'll be able to remember them all of you send them in a message to me._

_Leave a review, or I'll kill you. (It was the first thing that popped into my head...)_

_~Thy'VeryExtremelySorry'GreenThing~_


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